[Editor’s Note: Grant wanted to write a review of an N64 game, “Dual Heroes,” and we let him. We apologize profusely for the following “review.”]
We played Dual Heroes. I don’t think I learned anything about this terrible game. Let’s have a butt contest instead:
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- Red Power Ranger. Quality butt. Awesome sword distracts from butt. 7/10
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- Kitty MeowMeow Khajiit. Not sure how this Bloody Roar character made it into another game. Nice shiny butt is hidden under his tail. 5/10
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- Kakashi. Ninja butt is so dark that you can’t oogle it. 2/10
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- Ice Man. Weird blue butt is not impressive, but his calf muscles look like butts. 9/10 for having three butts.
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- Sexbot 9000. Are those butt-high boots? That must be uncomfortable, even for a robot. I feel her pain. 1/10 for sympathy pains.
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- Danceotron. Sweet helmet. Too bad she isn’t in a helmet contest. 0/10
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- Captain No Butt. Does this guy even have a butt? Dr. Metal Diaper gets 0/10
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- Green Power Ranger. Didn’t skip leg day. Can probably summon the Dragonzord. Is king of butts. Look at it. LOOK AT IT. 45/10
Dat butt
It’s watching you.